Sometimes I don’t feel good about myself as a reader. Little thoughts slither into my brain and destroy my motivation. I want to talk about these thoughts today because they’re normal and many of you feel them as well.
Last week, I got an email from a community member in a reading slump. This person’s email had the following statements:
- My reading practice has unraveled.
- I got too far behind.
- I don’t want to add to my schedule.
Another reader sent me a message on Facebook saying that reading felt heavy. The message said:
- My TBR(To Be Read) List is overwhelming.
- I’m not reading as many books as my friends.
- What’s wrong with me?
- I’m not retaining what I read and it feels like a waste of time.
I’ve felt all of these emotions and more. Today, I want to talk about why they happen and how to give yourself some grace as a reader. Despite the mental struggle, I’m going to make the argument that reading offers the best path to fulfillment and that sitting with a book is worth the effort.
YOU’RE PRE-WIRED TO COMPARE
As a human, it’s in your nature to compare yourself to others. It’s what we do. The spirit of competition is a good thing. It’s the driving force behind every improvement we’ve made as a species. But it’s also mentally draining. As readers, we compare ourselves to other readers, especially these “super readers” on YouTube who claim to read 100 to 200 books a year.
If you love reading, it’s natural to compare your bookish habits with theirs, and when you do, you’ll likely feel bad. There’s a toxic playground called Booktube that exists for one reason: content. YouTube creators need content to stay relevant. They have to make sensationalized videos to get and keep your attention.
In reality, most Booktubers don’t read the books they claim to enjoy. They don’t have the time. Instead, they review book summaries, scan goodreads reviews, and rely on ChatGPT to tell them what books are about.
Think about it. To be successful on YouTube, you need to publish at least one video a week. Creating and editing videos takes A LOT of time. Trust me, I know. There’s not enough time left to read 5 new books a week. It’s an unsettling model that accomplishes very little other than making you feel bad about your reading accomplishments.
Next time you feel that competition kicking in, try not to get frustrated. It’s a normal feeling. Also, acknowledge that we’re all on separate reading paths and what matters is how you engage with a book, not how other people are managing to do it better or worse than you.
THE OVERWHELM EFFECT
It’s normal to feel overwhelmed as a reader. There are too many books to read and the dang publishers keep making more each year. I jest. I love new books.
When I walk into a bookstore, I’m filled with wonder and I buy more books than I need. I’m excited about each one, but when I bring them home and add them to the TBR (To Be Read) pile, I feel a weight on my shoulders. Why did I buy more books when I already have 20 waiting to be read? Great, now I have 25 to work through. Do you feel it? That sense that reading has just become work instead of curiosity and pleasure? Another chore on the to-do list of life? That’s no good. We don’t want reading to be the nagging voice in your head.
Know that the feeling of overwhelm is normal. We all feel it, and it seems to intensify when other areas of our lives are under stress. I’ve found it helps to admit that I’m not going to read all these books. I’d love to, but life is short and the list continues to grow. The moment I accepted my limitations, I felt better. It also gave me permission to stop reading boring books.
I’m grateful for books in my life, and I’m also fine if I never get to all of them. It’s OK. Deep breaths. My goal is to be purposeful when I read and to be grateful for the chance to do so. I often think about how people, even just a few decades ago, weren’t educated enough to read and had to spend their lives working in the fields and factories. I get to read. It’s not a chore, and it’s not a pressing weight. If I die today, my TBR list will be just fine without me.
THE BOOGYMAN OF SELF-CRITICISM
Finally, let’s talk about the most evil feeling of all: self-criticism. When I read, it’s common for me to have negative thoughts about myself. Am I getting the book? Am I smart enough to read this? Am I good enough to do something with this information? Nope, nope, and nope. I don’t know why, but I often doubt myself. What am I doing reading hard books? I’m an imposter reading Plato. Wouldn’t it be easier to pick up my phone and play a game or watch Netflix?
But I know better.
Here’s my Stuart Smalley moment: I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, I’m not a poser for reading this book! All jokes aside, it’s normal to beat yourself up. I’m a very positive person, but I still get after myself. We all criticize how we look, perform, and fit into society. I’m no different, and neither are you.
So, know that when you’re reading a book, it’s normal to feel self-critical. Do your best to acknowledge the criticism for what it is, some kind of neurological wiring designed to help you survive in a dangerous world, and then let it go. You’re not in danger. Nobody cares if you’re attempting to read Aristotle on your lunch break. In fact, they might think it’s pretty cool. And yes, you’re capable of understanding any book with enough time and patience. That’s why we read slowly, take notes, and apply the ideas around here.
You’re not broken for having these thoughts. You’re normal.
My Commitment to You
A while back, I got a message from a member of the community that I was recommending too many books. This person pointed out that I’m not living up to my own mantra of reading slowly. How could I if I was sending out new book recommendations each week in the newsletter and on my YouTube channel?
Touché!
This person was right. Why was I making so many recommendations? It’s because I too felt the need to stay relevant as a content creator. I was lying to myself. I was thinking I needed to give you new books to keep you interested in my work.
I’ve changed tactics in 2025. Now, I’m recommending one book a month. That’s it. And all my content (podcasts, YouTube videos, newsletter, etc.) for that month will pull valuable lessons from that recommendation. Together, we will explore a great work slowly and in depth.
In January, I recommended Deep Work by Cal Newport. It’s a book that changed how I interface with doing quality work. It’s directly responsible for helping me escape the shallowness of meaningless emails and pointless projects so that I can focus on what matters.
Now, we’re headed into February and I’m excited to share the next recommendation with you! For the coming month, I would like to recommend a fantastic work by Sarah Bakewell titled, How to Live -or- A Life of Montaige. It’s a series of 20 powerful essays designed to answer the question: How to Live?
This book dives into the life of the 16th-century French essayist, Michel de Montaigne. It serves partly as a fascinating biography of his life, as well as a guide for applying some of the best lessons from his work to your own life. It’s a nice, gentle way of exploring his essays without committing to the original work (1300+ pages). If, after reading Bakewell’s book, you find yourself interested in Montaigne, then I would encourage you to get a copy of The Complete Works.
Why am I recommending this book for February? On p.151, Bakewell quotes the philosopher Frederick Nietzsche who said of Montaigne, “He is the freest and mightiest of souls…That such a man wrote has truly augmented the joy of living on this earth.” Montaigne’s essays have survived, because he was fascinated with the weirdness of himself. He wrote authentically, without smoke and mirror about what was working, and more importantly, what was falling apart. Reading Montaigne is like holding a mirror up to your own life, seeing the same challenges, and then finding a wise friend to help you get through them.
Final Thoughts
I hope today’s post wasn’t too much. I wanted to open up to anyone who feels the same way. I love reading. It’s a skill I’ve tried to improve throughout my life, but that doesn’t mean it’s not hard at times. I struggle with all of the internal woes discussed in today’s post. Does that mean I should stop reading? Absolutely not. Books have given me a life I’m proud of. I’ve used them to navigate college and my career, raise a family with amazing kiddos, launch businesses, and chase my dreams.
So yes, even though reading sometimes feels like a chore, it’s worth it. Pick up a book, give yourself some grace, and start on page one.
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