Lesson: Today’s lesson is about taking an active role in our reading community. One of the most rewarding aspects of reading is sharing your experiences and insights with others. Writing a book review not only helps you reflect on what you’ve read, but it also contributes to the community by guiding fellow readers. A goodContinue reading Day 25 – It’s Time to Make a Book Recommendation
I’ll write a book review of the book I read for this course:The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbin’s.
The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can’t Stop Talking About
by Mel Robbins
Published by Hay House LLC, 2024
Drawing from the ideas of the Stoics, author Mel Robbins has presented a timely and practical approach to managing one’s own behavior while at the same time detaching from the erroneous idea that one can change the thoughts, emotions or behaviors of anyone else . LET THEM. Let them be who they are.
Using a conversational and at times humorous writing style Robbin’s amplifies and makes practical some ancient wisdom. As did the Stoics of old (Marcus Aurelius) and even today (Ryan Holliday) believe, the challenge is to remember that the only behavior one can change is one’s own behavior. Thus, the idea of making other people be or act differently somehow or think differently or speak differently is an idea doomed to fail.
The ‘Let Them ‘ theory is about learning to accept that you cannot control others or many circumstances. Similarly, the Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr that is frequently used in self-help settings makes a plea for the one praying to be able to “accept the things I cannot change“ and “courage to change the things I can”. Robbin’s likely would say that what you can change is yourself. Examples she provides for things that are under your control are: Processing your emotions, ability to steady yourself, ability to detach, your response behaviorally to what’s happening, your values, your needs, your self-awareness, your role in the situation and your ability to rise above your emotions.
One distinguishing element in Robbin’s book is that she provides suggestions for how to change one’s own behavior and she acknowledges that there is the great difficulty in actually doing that . While she urges the reader to “let them” she also adds the “let me” part of relationships or everyday interpersonal interactions. That “let me” aspect is the greater challenge, in my view. This is an example she provides: “The moment anything happens that stresses you out, say let them . Put yourself in pause. Then say let me and take a deep breath. Let me take another deep breath. Slow your stress response. Calm your body and brain down. Take control and regain your power.” This is easily doable but not necessarily easy to remember to do.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book and learned some practical ideas for improving my own adult maturity (let me) and releasing myself from trying to control the people or the world around me (let them). This would be a beneficial book for anyone who wants to free up some energy, who finds themselves anxious from trying to control others, in need of learning to set boundaries, or people-pleasing to the detriment of being true to one’s own self. The reader may just find out how to have more power over his or her own life.